So the last thing I posted was at the very beginning of summer and then blogging just became... I don't know... redundant? Self indulgent? I felt like I needed to pack all my "summer" into my summer, and tried to stay away from time for introspection. In June of last year, there was so much that John and I were trying to figure out, so much that we wanted to do and we had no real clear communication or direction. It seems bizarre to me now that I blogged faithfully for over 12 years on at least an every other day basis, and can't seem to keep the motivation going to do this one when I have school and the business. It often feels like time for me to introspect, gaze at my navel in cyberspace and enjoy the process of writing... that it's a frivolous waste of time I should be using to accomplish something else. Well, much has happened since June of last year. Notably, this. We found out in July that we had less time than we thought to get our shit together, because by March 8th, the new arrival to our family would be due! So, we spent a good deal of time over the summer talking, and planning, but March seemed so far away! I went camping twice out at Razar state park with some of the Black Drop crew. We had some BBQ's. Kat had her baby in July and I went to see them during his first week in the world.

I got to go on a bit of a whirlwind trip with my super all time little love, Courtney. We stayed on the Oregon coast for a couple days with my Mom and her best friend, Mary.

(She made friends with a walrus and was too cute not to take a picture of.) 

 Soon, it was time to go back to school and also time to have our ultrasound to find out if we were having a boy or a girl nerdling.

To our delight, nerdling was determined to be a girl and we got to stop arguing about names because at least we agreed on girl names. Fall quarter went forward with a bunch of summer stuff not finished, and no helping it. We worked on the business as much as we could, but with the huge life changes looming for us in the spring, we put everything on with a "wait and see" kind of attitude and focused on the here and now of the daily business... running the shop, paying the employees, the bills and the taxes. Making great coffee. Staying true to the business model we really wanted to run. Pretty soon it was full on fall, and November fall leaves and holidays were right around the corner...

..and it was time to make some pie and go to Thanksgiving yet again...

and I was actually starting to become obviously pregnant...

....and then it was Christmas....

We made ALL of our gifts this year. ALL of them. John canned for a whole day/night and I made a bunch of soap and sugar scrubs, we baked and wrapped and worked up presents like crafty little powerhouses. The shop held fundraising drives for THREE different community organizations this year, as well as a food bank drive for our building (in which the upstairs is low income housing that is run by Catholic Community Services and the people can really use the help) and a toy / grocery card drive for local mamas with little ones who didn't qualify or get accepted to the other charity drives run every year. That project was taken on by a wonderful woman in the community who helps moderate a Mamas' Support Group on Facebook that I had the good luck to kind of fall into. The group has turned into such a blessing and source of information and support, I kind of don't know what I would do without it. We raised hundreds of dollars and presents for 23 little ones with the support of community. Just one more reason I love Bellingham.

Meanwhile, still getting bigger.

Then it was January, and time for the shop's annual event, which I was having kind of a hard time working because in the first weeks of the new year I got bronchitis. But, there I was, two days after the implementation of antibiotics....

And then we realized that we only had a couple of months left until our little girl B arrives and things change forever. Courtney threw us a really bomb baby shower, at which we were completely covered in lots and lots of handmade love. So many people have lovingly made things for our little one, and we felt so blessed to be surrounded by a ton of friends who are almost as excited to meet our little squirt as we are!

Then February came and both John and I got sick, and I stayed sick. For weeks and weeks. In fact, pretty much the whole month of February. I withdrew from winter quarter at Western. I very rarely show my face at the shop. All the business and hubbub that has defined my life for the last few years is removed from me by a bumper of sick and preparation, because eventually, it was this time, and I was considered to be "full term" and the baby could show up any day. We were really hoping she wouldn't decide to make her grand entrance early, while I was sick. We got things ready for her just in case..

and hoped that she would keep cooking.

She decided to wait it out while I got better. And kept waiting.

This was last week at 39 weeks. My due date of March 8th is only 3 days away. Yesterday, my doula set up for me to have some belly henna work done, and this is what her fabulous friend did.

There she is, still cooking, in a huge belly, complete with stretch marks and all. And here we are, 9 months since my last post, and so much has changed.

John and I have really spent the last few months determining where we want to go, and how we want to get there. We have come through many of the challenges that were facing us before we found out that our family is going to be expanding. I feel at peace with my decision to drop out of school for now, because I know that it's temporary, and the best thing I can do for myself and for our little girl is to be home, get healthy, and get ready for her arrival. Once she's here, my job is to be the best mom I can and make sure she doesn't lack for love or attention or support. Everything else will come. The shop is geared up and ready for the change, our employees are waiting for the call that says "EMERGENCY BABY SCHEDULE, GO" so that John can be with me from the beginning of labor through the first two weeks of little B's life. The changes I've seen in him in the last 9 months have aged him considerably in a lot of great ways. He's been a supportive partner, a loving and stalwart base for me through the first few months and then continued morning sickness (I threw up for 5 months straight and had to go into the hospital for fluids and neurological testing) and now the discomfort and awkwardness of being unable to easily move and the fear and anxiety for the oncoming labor. He is as ready as I think a man with no experience with kids can possibly be for such a huge responsibility, and he's looking forward to it wholeheartedly. I feel lucky in my choice of partner and for the first time I can remember in our marriage, for a sustained amount of time, feel like I have an equal partner in our endeavors. I couldn't be more ecstatic. So, I'm knitting up a storm of baby clothes and wasting a lot of time on the internet, sitting around and feeling like a time bomb with no energy most of the time. I can't seem to put myself on a schedule or actually get things done that need doing. I lack my customary motivation and drive. We're in a holding pattern where we're just waiting for our little girl to get here and the next phase of our life to start. As soon as she comes, dear diary, I will make sure that you get to meet her. I don't think there's a force in the verse that could stop me from taking way too many pictures.