*this is my proof that sometimes I am not a nice person*

Today, I happened to be looking at Facebook to zone out for a while, and I found out that one of my high school drill team classmates died, and I couldn't find any info about how or why. So I spent almost 2 hours obsessively searching the internet for any information about it, and couldn't find any. I thought about her in high school and about what a kind person she was, and thought about how much light the world loses when kind people disappear.

That got me to thinking "Why is it that people who probably deserve some terrible fate keep moving through life, bottom feeding, and turn up like bad pennies, spreading bad feeling wherever they go?"

That spawned me thinking of which people, in particular, I felt deserved some cosmic form of punishment.

And then I looked for a few of them on Google.

And here comes the part that proves I can be a very not nice person:

I found one, in particular, and he seems to be doing about as I expected him to be doing: worthless, penniless, mooching from person to person, using up everyone he touches....

*and it kind of made me feel justified and self satisfied*

I shouldn't be the kind of person that takes any kind of kernel of satisfaction from anyone else's misfortune... but if anyone I have ever known deserves to be in his 30's, hanging out with teenagers, lacking a job or a relationship or a place to live, it's this guy. Seriously.

I'm doin' ok, even though a little stressed, and he's... well... he's not. I managed to rise above the hell he created for me and the cycle of physical and emotional abuse he held me in for a couple of years, and I found my strength and worth... and he... well, he's doing the same shit to different people.

Is it wrong for me to feel satisfied about that? I don't know.