blahs

I don't know why this week has been so hard for me. In general, things are ok. Nothing is exploding, there are no major crises, nothing is on fire.

And yet, I've lost all motivation to care about, well, pretty much anything. I haven't worked on school work all week. I have barely done what needs doing for the business. I know I have a mountain of email and a financial month to close out and excise taxes held to calculate and turn in before the 25th, and I can't make myself do any of it. I'm currently in the chair I've been in for over 2 hours, figuring out my class schedule for next quarter and dinkin' around on the internet while I contemplate a bath.

Maybe it's the weather. It got really sunny, like Summer had shown up, and then it abruptly turned cold and gross again. Or maybe it's the hopeless feeling of how long it's going to take me to finish school that is making me want to hide in a hole. Maybe it's the changing of some of my closest relationships, or smoldering of hurt left by recent conversations, or the fact that John and I had a hard time being civil, earlier this week. I don't know.

What it adds up to is a big fat BLAH with a side of "EEEEWWW" and a feeling that I want to sit and knit and finish my book about the crazy cultists and play Dragon Age which I haven't touched in months because every time I pick it up I look up at the clock after what I think has been 15 minutes and I've lost over a half day of my life.

I don't know. But I need to find a way to kick it in the ass, and get it back on track for next week before next week is all screwed up too.