I wish I was a little bit talla'

I'm so bitchy that I can't sleep. I'm pulled tight like a drum. I originally typed "pulled tight like a drunk" which I think is telling. I had wine on Monday night with Jill and Marissa but the 3 of us shared one bottle. I have wanted to drink wine lately at the end of the night, so I have been drinking water instead.

I feel really isolated. I wish I could explain all the things rolling around in my brain.

I wish I could share this. I wish I could spit it out and I just can't. I'm laying on my couch, missing people I shouldn't miss and worrying about things that aren't important.

If this is really the point of my life, why am I in it? Really? Why am I here, doing these classes, working this job, throwing myself in 15 different directions so that I can do it again?

I don't know.

All I know is that I have a knot in my stomach and my chest is tight and my home doesn't feel like home. I don't want to see anyone after work lately. I don't want to spend time with people. I want to run away.

Even my writing is becoming infuriatingly simplistic and I can't get past it.

This is pointless.