Axel Rose didn't know how right he was....

Patience:

Sometimes when you're raw and tired and feel you have nothing to give and need to understand anything, any little thing, so that you'll comprehend what is happening to you, the hardest thing to have is patience.

I am not a patient person, and when the person I love more than anything tells me that he needs me to have it for him right now, he needs to not speak to me, and that it's for our collective good, I rail against it hard and get personally hurt.

It is not personal. He is being honest, which is what I needed him to be.

It was with a heavy heart that I hung up that phone tonight.

I get time with Kat tomorrow, and for however long or short that time may be, I will be grateful to hold her hand and smile and both of us can cough up this ache we've got, this horrible month gone by.

I need this ache to go away so I can breathe again. I watched him walk out our front door on Monday. He told me Goodbye. I feel like my chest hasn't been able to fully inflate since then.

I finished an essay and posted it. I don't know if it will help pull my grade up from shitsville, but I will hope.

I feel like I didn't know what I was doing when I got back in to school this time.

Fuck.