Finally, success.

Sitting in the Zoe's Bagels on campus, waiting to meet up with a friend. My assignments are done and it's as good a time to write as any.

I'm feeling capable today, something I don't normally feel. Hectic, stressed, pulled in several directions and lost is my usual operating state. This morning, I got up at 6:30, ate breakfast with the kids, managed to shower and get dressed and out of the house and on the early bus to get Edie to school on time instead of 15 minutes late. I hauled ass across campus to get to my early morning study spot before it got full of people and inaccessible and pulled out my journal and my coffee to set my work goals for the next couple of hours.

I got it all done! I got the Ochem homework finished, slightly ahead of turn in time (11:59 tonight.) I finished and printed out my Geology lab. I checked off the items I wrote in my planner, ding ding!

I also called the pharmacy after fighting with my doctor yesterday to find that I have my prescription for my bipolar meds ready to pick up. I called the bowling alley and scheduled Bea's birthday party and confirmed with the FIG about Edie's party. I also scheduled a happy hour for me and talked to my bookkeeper about the W-2's.

I am on a fucking roll today.

I think my bullet journal is starting to help me organize my thoughts. I'm less worried that I'll be forgetting something or that I'll be missing something when I can trust that I'm writing it down for my own mental health. I'm not sure I'm using the system to its full potential yet, but I'm getting there. Next is getting some tabs at the bookstore to tab out different weeks for easy flipping.... Maybe I'll ask my friends with bullet journals what their favorite tabbing method is. I'm sure there is something that will work easily for me.

I wish that I could write when I'm feeling stable like I can write when I'm manic or in the grips of a depression. I go to reach for the words and they just aren't there. It's the same with sewing, or knitting, or any other crafting project I undertake. When I'm manic I can sew my own patterns, create whatever I want. However, if the trade off for better mental health is a reduction in my creative capacity, I'm all for it. I'll take that bargain. Because I can't live with the severe ups and downs my bipolar creates.

Time to meet a friend.