Back to blogging in a different life

The last time I tried to do this with regularity was 2014. That didn't happen. I was writing a post about how it feels to have a baby and a 2 year old. But then? Life happened. Edie growing up happened. Beatrice getting bigger and bigger happened. Their needs changed. Mine changed. John's changed. We dug in and held on and ended up with so much to show for it and no time to talk about it, much less process it in writing. Every minute is filled, even the quiet ones, with needs unmet, goals unaccomplished, lists upon lists undone and waiting for the next line through an item.

So here we are now. It's April of 2016. I'm 37. I'll be 38 this year. Should I start anew? Should I abandon what I wrote before and write with fresh eyes and fresh fingers and the pink, tender skin of new beginnings? Nothing was burned to ashes. There is no catastrophe to rise from.

So, quick recap? Maybe a paragraph? Maybe 2? I dunno. Here goes.

Bea is now 4. (FOUR!!!) She turned one and then she was 2 and then we were (a family of) 4. A family of 4! Our second sweet breath of fresh spring air showed up in 2014, our tiny Edith Adelaide.

Tiny 3 month old Edie!

Edie is spunky and loud and crazy and sly. She was the saddest baby to start, and then she got happier and happier as more and more communication came. I don't have baby books for either of the girls, but I documented so much more here with Bea. I feel bad that I don't have that same documentation except for Facebook with Edie. I'm sure I'll figure out something.

So here's where we are now: 

Two beautiful, healthy, perfect girls. Determined, wacky, whipsmart little firecrackers. Bea has her Daddy's beautiful green and hazel eyes and my flair for the dramatic. Edie has deep brown eyes and a perfectly white birthmark on her partline that grows a shock of white hair, hiding among her blond wisps. She is stubborn and particular and cunning and sneaky. Bea lives a life without the ability to apply guile. 

John and I are more solid than ever. Our hard work and hard knocks have paid off in big ways. Our communication flows easy like water over cobblestones, giggling and running through the path of least resistance. We committed wholly to making our marriage run smoothly as a partnership and dedicated ourselves pretty much entirely to the raising of these tiny little hearts. I fall in love more and more deeply every time he gently guides a situation with the girls into resolution, or kisses a small cheek, or carefully lifts a tiny squirming body from the floor into his arms to comfort and console. The girls love him to distraction and I can't stop staring at his eyes when he walks into a room. 

It's hard to believe that 4 years ago, before Bea, I didn't know if we'd make it through another season or if the love we started out with would come back with hard work and dedication. 

The business is doing so well, and expanding. In 2014, my wonderful former co-worker, Ryan, came back and bought in. I have a partner, a real partner, an every day in and out here for the long haul partner. He works so hard and all his dedication is paying off in such big ways for the business we both dedicate heart and soul to. We are thriving. And? I started a bakery back in the spring of 2015 and it's successful! We're selling out and straining at the seams of our small kitchen. In November of 2015, Ryan and I took over the lease for the small space next to the Black Drop and are slowly turning it into the bakery space to allow me to increase the menu and volume, and possibly pickup whole sale clients as well. I couldn't be more excited and anxious for this project to be completed. Meanwhile, I've learned how to put FRP up on walls, lay tiled floors, and all sorts of other things that might come in handy, should John and I buy a fixer upper at all. 

There's Ryan on the day we laid the floor, doing some of the hard work of cutting out the corners. Looks like fun, right? This project reduced me to tears faster than any project has in my whole life. That includes giving birth to two babies. 

I stopped school when Bea was born, and this Fall, I'm finally going back. I got my letter from Western for readmittance and I'm planning out my classes and trajectory right now. It's time to get back to trying to do things for me instead of doing things for just my family.

And with that, I'll be ending the update for now. As part of going back to doing things for me, I'll be flexing my writing muscle and updating more frequently. I miss words, I miss the way they used to just flow and travel through me with ease. I stopped reading after Bea was born and mostly stopped writing. This absence has left me feeling flabby of intellect with clogged emotions. It's time to take the minutes for myself that writing provides. So, further updates will be coming albeit probably sporadically. If you care to follow along, I'd love to talk to you in the comments. I miss my LiveJournal of old and would love to engage, if you want to. If not, lurk. I'm sure I'll overshare at some point.