My classes are extremely hard, and I totally love the subject matter. In fact, I love it enough that I am looking into changing my educational goals. I am right now deciding between going for a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing, or going for a Biology major and getting a teaching certificate, and continuing on for my Master's. I feel like there are so many options in front of me, and it's difficult to see my way clear of this intersection. So far, school has been a lot of "just keep your head down and keep plugging at it" to get to the immediate goal of an Associate's Degree for the purpose of transferring to Midwifery School. Well, I am not going to be getting into midwifery school this year, and when I found that out, my brain kind of fritzed and I had a bit of a freakout.
Well, I'm going to see an adviser at Whatcom this week, and I got my FAFSA done and sent to the schools I am looking at. The next few months are going to see some big decisions being made and some big changes for us. In general, we're battening down the hatches, paying off debt and working to get a small savings set aside so that if we have to move for me to go to school, we can afford it.
John still doesn't have a job. The market is next to impossible right now in Bellingham, although I hear it's not much better in other places. Teri said this morning that she's doing some retooling of the schedule, and that means we all are going to be looking at less hours. She's been doing all she can to keep us at our current level, but it's gotten to the point where things are just down so much that the shop can't continue to support the amount of payroll we have for hours that are no longer 2 person worthy. She told us what we'd need to do and what figure we'd need to hit on a daily basis for things to stay the way they have been, and really was hoping we'd be able to hit that number. I know this is as painful for her as it is for us, and she has been dreading this eventuality.
John is looking, but the reality is that unless he finds a job by April, we're buggered, and right good. I have worked out how to support us through my student loans and the small amount I'm able to work while taking this classload, but when his unemployment runs out, that'll be the end of this plan and we'll have to have something else in the wings. If I get into a school in Seattle, we'll have to use our savings to move before the next school year starts, and we might look at moving at the beginning of the summer depending on what my school status looks like, and what jobs we both are able to find. Right now, this is all purely speculation because I have no idea where I'll be going to school come September, or if I'll even be able to go at all.
Back in Bellingham in the present, things have been less than pleasant the last few weeks. I am taking Anatomy/Physiology, which is a bitch of a class any way you look at it. It's hard, there is a lot of information to cover and a small amount of time to do it, and the information isn't easy to assimilate, no matter how much time we are given to do so. People know, going in, that the class will be hard. Well, apparently, this quarter I have an instructor that has a lot going on, personally, who has also been sick quite a lot. I know better than anyone that sometimes shit just happens, and while I am understanding of extraneous circumstances, I'm also frustrated. If I were to miss out on 8 lectures, even due to personal circumstances, I would still be held accountable for the information presented in those sections. It wouldn't just go away because I wasn't there. So, we had a test on the bones that got pushed back and pushed back and pushed back because our instructor was sick, had a funeral, her roof leaked in the torrential rains and her son didn't have school, etc etc etc. We now are in week 6 of an 11 week quarter, and only have 5 weeks to get the whole rest of the course done. We haven't actually had lecture in almost 2 weeks. I am at the point where my classmates and I are ready to go talk to the Dean. We need good grades in this course, and I need to know the material because this course is the foundation for next quarter's work. I am really frustrated.
Add to this the several momentous and crappy events around here. Jonathan, a close friend of almost 6 years and a much relied on co-worker, had a heart attack at the beginning of February. I spent a good portion of the weekend it happened with him at the hospital, then basically went straight from hospital to study session to my work study job in the lab. Well, he is ok, but he had to have some surgery and will have to go back for more. He couldn't work for over a week, and we needed to cover his shifts. So, we as a staff all pulled together and pushed through the extra work. I ended up working almost twice the maximum amount I can handle in a week with all the school work I have, and I spent almost double the time in the lab that I normally would, since my class is basically teaching ITSELF Anatomy. I spent over 20 hours in the lab the week before last, and last week I spent at least 15.
On my only day off in that week of opening the shop, going to school, then coming back the shop to close, my Aunt Anna Mae passed away. It was sudden and unexpected, and it put the whole family into a state of shock and disarray. She left behind 2 adult kids, her husband of close to 3 decades, her 3 siblings (My Dad, Uncle Ajay, and my Aunt Aileen) and my Oma, who has already buried her husband and now her daughter. While I have never really been close to my extended family on either side, I am in the process of forging my relationships with my Dad's family, now that I'm an adult, and my aunt Anna Mae was always the organizer and the one to reach out. I exchanged a series of emails with her around Christmas time, where I bemoaned my lack of time and expressed my wish to have a sort of "make-up Christmas" with the family when things (presumably) had calmed down after the Holiday season. She was understanding and open, commiserating on the lack of time to do the things we want, and asked me to make sure to stay in touch. While the emails were short and sweet, it felt nice to be included and the thought went into the back of my mind that when all this stressful school stuff is over and done with, I could make a trip down and John and I could enjoy a dinner with my family. Well, the face of the family is much changed with Anna Mae's passing. She was dearly loved by the whole family, especially her two kids, my cousins. I can't imagine what they are going through right now, as losing a parent is such a painful and harsh thing at any age. It seems even more cruel to have it happen when you're just discovering what it means to really be a "grown-up" and making that transition between "kid" and "adult". The funeral was so hard, all these people I care about being so sad. My dad had some kind of preternatural robot composure, and my guess is that he's not dealing well with it. I just can't imagine it. I'm worried for my family, for my Dad and my Uncles and Aunt and both my cousins, and for my Oma. I don't know what this means for them or how they're going to go about with moving on. All I can do is keep them in my thoughts and offer support when I can.
Valentine's weekend came and went, and, as a rare surprise, John actually planned some stuff for us. He took me to see Coraline, and took me out to dinner at our favorite restaurant, Bayou on Bay.
Here we are, dressed and and home, and I'm a bit tipsy if you can't already tell.
The day after V-Day we drove Chuckanut in the sunshine and went to see what we could see. It was a gorgeous drive, full of sun and the smell of the bay. We drove with the sun roof open and the back windows cracked for Dexter dog, who accompanied us. We listened to some music, but mostly talked, and just enjoyed the time. We drove all the way out into the country on Chuckanut, and then took a right and headed towards the water instead of Highway 20. We drove out through Padilla bay, looking at the water and the boats and the sleepy little houses with the white picket fences directly across from the beach. We kept going when we hit 20, and ended up out at Rosario Beach. We haven't been there since our wedding day in 2006, so we thought it might be time to head back. The sun was going down and it was getting chilly, but the day was still beautiful and I managed to get some great shots.
This is John hugging Dexter at the lookout where we stopped to stretch our legs along Chuckanut.
I like Dexter's eyes in that one
Both of us actually at Rosario. You can tell it's a bit breezy.
Even though it was cold, it was really beautiful.
I call that one "What the hell is that?" Because that's pretty much what John was saying about every 30 seconds while we looked at tidepools and Dexter tried to eat dead things.
This is one of my very favorite shots from this weekend. This dock is one of my favorite things about Rosario, and it has changed since we were there, last. On our wedding day, there was a largish gate at the end of the pier, high up over the water. Now, the gate is gone, along with the weathered old arch, and in its place is a ramp going down to the water. Dexter loved that, and I did like that we got to actually go down to water level on a dock, but I miss the old gate all the same. Walking back up the pier you get this long shot of the walk in front of you joined to the land and it looks like the edge just disappears. Breathtaking. I adore that beach.
After Rosario, we had ice cream in Anacortes by driving the back way in, around Heart Lake. We met up with Mammasan and LCRP to have fudge sundaes, and it turned into them making a delicious dinner at their house for us and for John's friend Jackie, another young lady fortunate enough to have been mostly adopted by Trish while growing up. We love Jackie, and we never get to see her, so it was a rare treat, indeed.
And now, today was work and now back to homework. I have procrastinated long enough. I hope you all are well out in Blogland, and I will try to keep the length between my posts shorter next time, although I make no promises.
2 comments:
Mamasan is so proud of you!
I miss you so much at lj, but I'm sure you had reason to delete it. I'm just glad I thought to come over here and see what you've been up to! I miss you lots and wish you were closer. Love your guts. :)
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