dreams and class and things

A couple of things I wanted to tell you about:

I've been having really really intense dreams about 2 little boys, and they're mine. Well, not really, because we all know I don't have rug rats, but in the dreams, they're mine, and they're so real that it's hard to wake up, sometimes.

One is 4ish or so, and tall and lanky, with strawberry blond curls and a fearless disposition. In the first dream, I was sitting on couch at the Drop, drinking a coffee, and he was introducing himself to everyone walking through the door. "Hi! I'm Jackson!" In my lap was a smaller boy, dark haired and huge dark eyes, very seriously contemplating everyone his brother talked to. Every few minutes, Jackson would walk over and lean on my leg, and say "Comeon Levi! Comeon! Say HI! Say HI, Levi!"

I woke up from that dream with an ache in my chest. I wanted so badly to go back to sleep. I could still smell them, the little boy smell of dirt and chocolate and sticky hands and apple juice.

I kept having dreams, vivid dreams, where we're all walking on Boulevard trail, bundled up in knit scarves, and John is trying to get the boys to run after him, or where we're at Lake Padden, watching Dexter run, or where we're playing at the playground and Jackson is pushing Levi on the swing, or where I'm sitting on a couch, the boys asleep on me while we watch a movie. I had one a few nights ago where we were all making paper crowns, and Jackson and Levi wanted to glue feathers all over John's, because he told them once he wanted to fly. Every time I wake up, I get more and more sad, and feel more and more like I'll never meet those boys that don't exist, and that my brain is tricking me.

In other news, I'm going to Mexico soon. In fact, in, like, 2 days. I've been going crazy with homework and things I need to do while I'm gone, and with lists of things I need to finish before I go.

I'll be taking pictures of our whole trip and posting them on Flickr, and documenting the whole thing here.

In fact, I should be working on that list right about now, and start packing.

I also wanted to tell you about my Nutrition class. I have one of those girls in it, who I will call "Should I Write That Down" girl. She constantly bombards the instructor with "So, what do you want us to write down?" or "Should I write that down?" or "How do you want me to write that down?" I thought she might actually make me insane before the end of the quarter, but I think my instructor had finally had enough last week, and she sort of gave her what for in a very teacherlike way.

We were reviewing for our test, and we were talking about what we needed to cover. The instructor repeated the same thing several times, and "Do you want me to write that down" girl told her "You know, you should write this on the board so we know what you want us to write down." My instructor took a breath, and said "No, I won't be. As an adult, in this course, I expect you to be able to extract from lecture exactly what you need, because I'm giving you the tools and the information to succeed. If you can't do this, it would be a good time to learn because it will serve you well in life, and not just for this class."

I did a little victory fist pump in my head.

Ok, I need to go make dinner and then make my list.

I'll talk to you next from Oaxaca, most likely!