Adventures of a Secret Agent Peanut

2011-06-09T01:29:00.000-07:00

I have had a great deal to say lately, but not a lot of it that can or should be public. Finals are almost here and I can feel the weight of all I want to accomplish this summer, pushing against that dam with the force of an overfull stream. I need to harness that energy, make this summer work for all the things I need to accomplish at my shop (putting systems in place with my partner and digging

2011-05-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

Summer starts on June 9th for me. That's only 26 days of this quarter left. It cannot come too soon for me. I have been really down, lately. I have too much going on, and I'm stretched too thin. I'm discouraged about my classes, about some of my personal relationships, about my never ending battle with my weight, about our finances, and about all the things I want to do and just can't seem to

Ya gotta knock that shit off

2011-04-18T13:22:00.001-07:00

Teri and I were talking about catching flies with honey today on the way out of class. "I'm just puttin' honey out to catch some flies" she shrugged, in response to a particularly snippy remark I cuffed about an experience we had in class today."I don't care. I don't want to catch flies." I harrumphed."Well, all you'll end up with then is vinegar" she teased back.And she's right.Teri is often my

Be brave enough to break your own heart

2011-03-29T18:54:00.001-07:00

So, there is this advice columnist at therumpus.net and her name is "Sugar" and she writes the most beautiful things. Ever. She is a woman in her 40's who often has some pretty supreme insight into situations at all ages, but I find myself often thinking that the things she says to women in their 20's is advice I could have used, and that I can see the things she says ringing true for me as I

Don't Church It Up, Son.

2011-03-02T18:51:00.001-08:00

Maybe now that I'm home with my dogs and cat and rat and house and things and stuff, I will be able to write out the gunk that's gumming up my mental gears.I've been writing a blog post in the back of my head for days now. This is how it goes. I start becoming unable to focus on school or work or personal responsibility because I get this mental gunk, this ooze, or gum, or sludge, or

Eff this week.

2011-02-04T11:18:00.000-08:00

This week has been a real shitter. I do not remember the last time I ended a week feeling so discouraged.Nothing is going right. I know that logically there are weeks where things just don't jive, and if I can get through them, there will be a better one eventually. It's just the law of averages. It has to happen, it's statistics. But it doesn't feel that way. Right now, I feel like am failing at

To do, (and do, and do, and do...)

2011-01-24T11:38:00.000-08:00

Here is my to do list for today:Open shop (check)Go get coffee from roastary (check)Run to catch bus to campus (check)Go to Spanish Class (check)Add Nissan Sentra to insurance (check)Check in with contact at Reset Games about shop event (check)Call accountant to find out what to bring her to finish W2's (check)Go to Chem classRun to catch bus back downtownTo to Cash and CarryDeliver rest of

Holidays, school and cake or snake

2011-01-14T11:28:00.000-08:00

I have about a half hour before Chemistry lecture, and I need to calm down from the Spanish test that I just took, so blogging seems like a good way to spit it all out. Back in school, again. I simultaneously love and hate the beginning of a quarter. After a few weeks without a set schedule, my internal clock is always off and I have a hard time organizing my thoughts into a cohesive mass that

and so it goes

2011-01-14T00:16:00.000-08:00

I don't know how I got here. I don't know how I spend hours and hours and hours each day, filling my time with the things I have to do and don't come home to do anything but sleep and do homework, and end up at midnight after being awake for 19 hours, sitting dazed on my couch with an open Spanish textbook, wearing underwear I washed out in the sink this morning and dried with a hairdryer while

Me pido...

2010-11-18T00:04:00.001-08:00

Just hold on, life. Finals are 18 and 21 days away, respectively. Come on, brain. Brain, already. Come on heart, stop pounding out of your cage, stay in place in your tidy chest cavity. Come on, 18 days. Fly by. Give me some hours every day to study, to eat, to sleep, to knit, to unwind, to kiss my husband and drink coffee and hug the pups and love the people who love me.Come on, quarter. Let's

2010-11-09T13:35:00.000-08:00

Is it really possible that I haven't written here since John's birthday? Seriously? I think I did write a huge post and when it got deleted I got really angry and I swore at my computer a bunch and tried to write it again but by that time all the stuff I had been thinking had already poured out onto the "page" and I had no more writing left in my guts and so I quit.SO, O HAI INTARNETZ!There has

tickin' along...

2010-08-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a month exactly since we last spoke, O' internetz. Let me tell you how things are going.I started taking meds about 7 weeks ago now, to help manage my disorder. I am still doing what they call a "ramp up" in medication, because one of the possible (although very very rare) side effects of Lamictal is a potentially deadly necrotizing rash. I know, fun, right?This ramp up has been

Coming to Terms...

2010-07-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

only have about an hour of quiet left before John comes home and fills the house with his loud voice and exuberance. I'm not upset, and I actually miss him when he's not here. It's just nice, after spending every other day surrounded by people who need something from me to be home, even when I know I should be doing something else, and just take the time to blog and to read a book and to lay in

Who is responsible?

2010-06-09T13:03:00.000-07:00

My mother in law really likes this website, Sociological Images so I have started visiting it on a daily basis to jumpstart my brain before I face a big task. Today, I was totally taken aback when I saw this: Watch the video first. I'm serious.Vezi mai multe video din SportI think of the kids I took care of when they were young, I think of my friends who now have small children, I think of the

my own folly

2010-06-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I agreed to work today... when I have 2 finals tomorrow AND payroll. I officially don't give a shit how much the rest of the week sucks for anyone else. I have 3 1/2 hours until midnight, 2 finals to study for tomorrow (One final is 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. and the other is 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.) and payroll to do. I am pretty sure that not standing up for myself and saying "No, no I won't

Oh, Washington in June....

2010-06-02T14:59:00.000-07:00

I'm doing much the same thing that I've spent years doing, sitting at a table in the corner of the Black Drop, looking out the window, waiting for my shift to start, people watching. Today is blustery and has ranged from sunny and happy to grey and ominous. I really wish June would hurry up and just be summer, already. I need the sunshine, crave it, yearn for it almost like missing home when one

So.

2010-06-01T18:30:00.003-07:00

So. I found an old blog I forgot about tonight while deleting a mountain of emails.Reading back through the entries, something from 3 years ago seemed eerily similar to what has been happening this last month:"April 20th, 2007I woke up jittery and panicky today. I want everything and nothing. My heart races at the thought of leaving the house, I break out into a sweat.I am tired of being the glue

So.

2010-06-01T18:30:00.001-07:00

this is my proof that sometimes I am not a nice person

2010-05-28T16:34:00.000-07:00

Today, I happened to be looking at Facebook to zone out for a while, and I found out that one of my high school drill team classmates died, and I couldn't find any info about how or why. So I spent almost 2 hours obsessively searching the internet for any information about it, and couldn't find any. I thought about her in high school and about what a kind person she was, and thought about how

total meltdown

2010-05-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

I had a complete meltdown last night. It's been building all week. I called Kat, and cried to her while she was on a bus or somewhere else in public. Then I went into the kitchen where my husband was busy making me dinner, and I washed dishes while bawling and talking to him, because I needed something to do with my hands while I got out whatever has been poisoning me this last week.It's a

blahs

2010-05-20T10:16:00.001-07:00

I don't know why this week has been so hard for me. In general, things are ok. Nothing is exploding, there are no major crises, nothing is on fire.And yet, I've lost all motivation to care about, well, pretty much anything. I haven't worked on school work all week. I have barely done what needs doing for the business. I know I have a mountain of email and a financial month to close out and excise

The view from the VU...

2010-05-10T09:16:00.001-07:00

You know, often times, life gets away from me. One day, I'm single and living in a little apartment that floods all the time with my own rosebush growing in my window, and then I'mn freshly married and moving into a 3 bedroom duplex I can't afford and starting back to school full time and then I'm in the little yellow and blue house on a busy road and it's been 2 years and now I own the

Massive update attack

2010-03-06T19:12:00.000-08:00

Oh, diary. I have been falling behind. I am remiss, and I feel like at the times I have the most going on, the most interesting things to tell you, I don't have the time to sit down and write about it. Therefore, my dearest blog, I miss documenting some very important events. So, lemme 'splain. No. Is too much. Lemme sum up.See, now that I have quiet and I've spent the last hour or so uploading

sink or swim

2010-01-27T16:41:00.000-08:00

This week, I am trying a new thing. Last week, I spent every waking moment at the shop. I felt like if I stepped away, if only for a moment, it would explode and I'd be screwed. John was closing, I'd go down to work because he was there are because I missed his laugh and because it fit right in with that voice in the back of my head that says constantly "You really need to do this one other thing

Opie & John

2010-01-27T01:19:00.001-08:00

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Opie & John, originally uploaded by Stampalina. This one was also from Carly's Wedding. These photos are all courtesy of Kat's Flickr.

Party!

2010-01-27T01:17:00.001-08:00

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Party!, originally uploaded by Stampalina. I also had to borrow this one from Kat. Look at us! How awesome is that?

John & Stephanie

2010-01-27T01:16:00.001-08:00

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } John & Stephanie, originally uploaded by Stampalina. I just found this pic of John and myself at Carly's wedding in October, and I yoinked it from Kat's Flickr. I love it! <3

new routines and unexpected blessing

2010-01-09T00:24:00.000-08:00

It's a week in, and I'm feeling more wound up than I was before the party. How is that possible?Doing all the bookwork. Seeming to be the only one concerned about how dishonesty in interpersonal relationships with customers and inside a friends group can negatively impact revenue (in so many ways.) being the one that delegates responsibility to people who are supposedly my "equals". I have found

Big things happened.

2010-01-03T19:12:00.000-08:00

What a whirlwind my life has become! I guess it's always been a kind of whirlwind, but it's been so much more so in the last few months, and I haven't been able to talk about it. I don't know if you know me, or if you've ever spent more than 5 minutes in my presence, but not being able to talk about something is a pretty sure fire way to keep the issue in the forefront of my mind at all times.So,

sleepless night, redux

2009-12-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a meltdown and I think I bombed my chemistry final and Dexter ate about a pound of chocolate chips and ended up having to go to the ER vet, who was helpful and wonderful and just about all we could hope for. She's new to Bellingham, and I hope she stays and finds many more grateful people who are appreciative of her loving care. I'm writing a letter to the vet today to thank her,

a better person..

2009-12-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

I have had so much to say lately but every time I sit down to blog my brain just kind of fizzles. I have so much going on and I can't sum it up, can't talk about it, can't spit it all out. Maybe after finals are done and I have some time where I don't feel guilty for being home, it'll sort itself out.Instead, I'm going to tell you about something that happened the other day that still sits in the

2009-11-30T13:09:00.000-08:00

The end of the quarter is looming. I have had a really difficult 4 months in my first quarter at Western, and I am sincerely hoping that they won't all turn out this way. Riding the bus down to the Drop today, I had several thoughts, and I'm going to write them here, more for me to look at next quarter when I am stressed than to 'splain my reasonings to you, intarnetz. This quarter, I had a math

I've loved you more...

2009-11-26T23:58:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was full of food, and of John's family, and a few of my chosen family as well. Good food was had and at the end of the day I am loved, this is what the day is for.Tonight as I get ready to go to sleep, though, I miss my family. I miss my Dad, I miss my mom. I miss being able to laugh with my sister.I miss Oma and Opa. I miss Aunt Anna May. I miss Gramma Lona, so much, still. I wish

Hives.

2009-11-13T15:42:00.000-08:00

Today was a totally useless waste of time. I took a Chemistry test at 8 a.m. I do not think that went well for me. I actually really liked this unit, and felt like I grasped the concepts well. However, when it came to applying all of those concepts at once in test form (like using all 5 equations I know to relate frequency, wavelength, and energy) my brain kind of froze up. I got what I feel like

A frivolous interlude

2009-11-12T13:50:00.001-08:00

I do not want to go to Math class or work. I just want to sit in my pajamas in a corner of my couch, knit, look at Ravelry and make lists of all of the things I need to accomplish for my brain to settle. Is that so wrong?Yes, I know, it is. Grownups have GROWN UP responsibilities. Time to "woman up" and face mine. I have to admit, I shirked some study time this afternoon and fought back a panic

putzing thoughts for today...

2009-11-11T00:40:00.000-08:00

My brain is full of Chemistry and possibility.I sat in and gave gentle advice on John and Sean's first business meeting today. Oh, wait, what? Didn't I tell you about that? How thoughtless of me! John and Sean have been half talking out their asses and half seriously throwing around the idea of starting a computer repair business. Sean has the schooling and the experience, and John has been self

for want of a pair of mitts...

2009-11-09T23:48:00.000-08:00

I had a pair of "bum gloves" that I used to take with me everywhere. They were mismatched, fingerless, knit from leftovers of several skeins of computer printed sock yarn. My mom makes them by the boatload, and we just mix and match them. I only have the one pair, and during Carly's wedding, several of my favorite things went missing. My bum gloves were the most missed of those things. Today I

November in Belligham and family matters...

2009-11-03T09:40:00.001-08:00

Bellingham is cold, today. I'm not surprised, it's November, and I've been wondering when the cold would finally arrive. I typically throw myself into summer for all I am worth, enjoy the lovely fall colors while they are here and simultaneously dread the arrival of the cold that November brings. I know I will not be warm again until late April, or even May. The cold here is wet, clammy, and

keep swimming

2009-10-27T19:53:00.001-07:00

I got to spend some time in Seattle last weekend, watching friends who are so so dear to me get married. And I forgot my effing camera.So until someone else posts some pictures I can steal or blogs about it, I can't show you how heart warmingly beautiful it was, or how drop dead gorgeous my lovely Car-Bear was as a bride (She was SO CLASSY OMG!) or how sweet the couples' face splitting smiles

why did I do that?

2009-10-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was the grand poobah of worthless layabouts. I got nothing accomplished. I know John appreciates it when I spend time with him, doing nothing, but really?So, I'm at school. When I get done with school, there is work. When I am done with work, there is a meeting. When I am done with meeting, there is going home on the scooter, and when I am done with that, I am going to map out the

2009-10-10T18:24:00.001-07:00

Is it possible to feel overwhelmed and motivated at the same time?That's about where I am, right at this minute.Where should I even start, O internetz? I guess I could start by telling you about the end of my summer, and the transition that Bellingham autumns always bring. This summer was the first time since probably the END OF HIGH SCHOOL that I had something approximating an actual "SUMMER

a mini vacation

2009-10-04T01:51:00.000-07:00

I'm laying in a cabin close to the beach in Birch Bay, WA. It's the weekend of my 3rd wedding anniversary, and my sweet husband is currently curled on the other couch in the main room of the cabin, crying, because he's reading "The Art Of Racing In The Rain" which is about love and loss and life told through the eyes of a very very smart dog, and of course, we're both such softies that you put a

and the seasons start their changing...

2009-09-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

I have a ton of stuff to say and as usual when I have the bones of an entry I haven't the motivation or inclination to write it. Perhaps I'll do so tomorrow, when I'm on campus with a series of breaks in between classes. I have big and small happenings, summer pictures, and upcoming plans to post!And as always, I promise I'll write about it later. Whether or not I actually am able to keep that

lists...

2009-08-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

Things I want to do today:BlogPost pictures of this summerPick more blackberriesmake some jamtake Bigby swimmingknitread a book in the sunride my bike downtown to get coffeeeat a peachThings I am going to have to do today:Showergo to work in the labclean turtle tankstreat my war wound from the gym this morningI am sad that these lists don't overlap.I will have an update about the summer as soon

bullet points

2009-07-15T01:37:00.000-07:00

So, here is a short list of my life as it stands today:I am working a good deal over the summer, and I'm not keen on it, but the money will be good when bills come due.We are going camping at the end of this weekend, and I am looking forward to it so much that there are no words for how excited I am.On Thursday, I am going to a local farm-team baseball game with John and Katy and Jonathan and

what break?

2009-06-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

I sat down, motivated to write about the awesome weekend we had and the joy of it being summer, and therefore, sans classes. However, somewhere in there I lost my motivation. I haven't noticed the lack of class yet because I still have that school guilt, the little feeling in my heart that I totally have something else I should be doing right this minute. I've been out of school for just over a

This actually happened today

2009-06-16T19:33:00.000-07:00

The first of my 2 Calculus tests took me 2 hours to complete. I have another one in 2 days. Today, when John picked me up, I had 6 minutes to get to work from the opposite side of town, I was super wound up, and the grand total of what I'd consumed so far amounted to a triple shot americano, a cup of drip, and half of a toasted bagel with a small schmear of butta. I was low on blood sugar,

Blessed.

2009-06-10T00:25:00.000-07:00

I am avoiding writing a paper, because I've already written several pages of it and I can't think anymore.I was going to start out complaining, whining, feeling sorry for myself. I am in physical pain across my shoulders and back for some unknown reason. I currently am fighting off yet another UTI, my 3rd in the last 2 months. My parents are moving to Idaho in less than a month and I'm still

Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away...

2009-05-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

I do not have time to do a real and full update with all of the stuff running around in my noggin. I wanted to write down, though, that it was the first day over 80 degrees here in Bellingham, I got all my errands run like a good little girl, I've been to the gym for all the days in my goal this week, my pants are all getting too big, we're still on our diet and doing very very well, I am

Weekend in a nutshell

2009-05-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

So, the weekend flew by, and it was really delightful. I wish I had taken more pictures, but I didn't really think about it while we were actually doing things.Sunday, I spent a good portion of the morning covered in bike grease, as I fixed my flat bike tire, lubed up and re-installed my chain, and then got by other bike (The Green Machine) back into working order, which required cleaning and

I love a parade

2009-05-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those days that started out gray and gloomy and overcast, but now, at 3, it's sunny and bright and hot. It makes me wish that I were outside or working in the yard or walking around town with Kat, who came up to spend the weekend with me, even though I have to work through most of it.So, I'm in the Anatomy lab,, suffering through the smell of formaldehyde from the cat dissections

Day One

2009-05-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

I am having sort of a rough time, lately, and I kept thinking about it today during class and on the way home. I thought maybe that writing about it would make me feel better. I don't know. But here goes.I have always had problems with depression. Sometimes it gets better, sometimes, it's all I can do to get up and go take care of my responsibilities.Lately, with everything that has been going on

2009-04-30T10:31:00.000-07:00

Things that have been said in my house in the last week:J: "I'm pretty sure that you'd taste like bacon. Mmmm, wife bacon."Me: "Seriously? Gross, dude. So you'd cannibalize your own wife?"J: "Well, yeah, if I was going to die of starvation and you were the only food left."Me: "I would rather die. That's awful, John. I could never do that to you."J: "Well, it's not like I'd KILL you to cannibalize

2009-04-29T15:46:00.000-07:00

Once again, I got busy and my brain fried, and the blog paid the price. Not like there is a lot going on here to update you with anyway.Well, that's not entirely true. Right now, I have the flu, which is probably the only reason I am sitting still. Tomorrow will also most likely be a day of rest and then Friday I'll be working all day.I now have 2 jobs! I am working in the Science Prep lab at

2009-03-26T13:38:00.001-07:00

And I spent the majority of the morning puttering around my house. I trimmed my poor little tomato starts, which was heartbreaking, but had to be done, I'm told. (I had to go through each one of my little starters and select only the one that was thriving the most, killing the other two. So sad!) I did, however, get another big pot and replant some of them, just to see if they'll take.I also did

2009-03-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

So, I'm done. For good or ill, I'm done with this quarter. Bring it, life, you crazy bitch. I'll beat everything you throw at me, and I'll do it alone, because that's what I do.I had drinks @ the Grand for about 5 hours, and finished with an hour of bowling. Lovely.Tomorrow is sleeping in with my hubby and Step Up 2 night with Court, for a danceoff in her living room. OMG, it's going to be

2009-03-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

So, last day of finals. I have to start heading off to school. I need to get it done, get it off my mind, and I am finding it hard to get up, get moving, get motivated to care.I worked my ass off this quarter, and I bombed my Anatomy final. Ten hard, long fought weeks of studying at the lab almost every other night, never being home to see my pets or husband, and struggling to maintain my GPA,

2009-03-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

I remember from my management days the old adage "Choose your attitude." I remember countless conversations about how we, as people, are the manufacturers of our own destinies, that we choose what kind of day, week, month, or life we will be having. No matter how many times I'd repeat that in a professional setting, I'd get home, or face a situation somewhere in my personal life, and feel like

2009-03-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, John is really random. Well, ok, all the time. This is part of why I love him so much, even though he can be quite ridiculous. I am going to give you some examples of conversations that have happened in my house in the last 24 hours.SCENE: My showerMe: (Stepping in) So, what are you up to today?John: (tracing a design on my shoulder blade) I just drew a Star Trek communicator on your

Don't price the painting before the canvas dries...

2009-03-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

The end of the quarter is looming. I really should be feeling more stressed out, and I'm sure that will come next week, but for this week I'm feeling surprisingly sane. I have my formal lab report (the one worth a crapton of points) almost totally finished, which means my part of it is finished and my lab partner will be finishing her part tomorrow. My prof will answer a couple more questions for

Going for the gusto

2009-03-09T18:38:00.001-07:00

I just went ahead and did it. What's the worst that can happen? They say "No"?I sat down last night and figured out what questions to ask admissions today when I called for an appointment. I looked at the transfer specifics and at the amount of credits I would need to take to get my Bachelor's from Western. Here's how it boils down:If I were to go to Whatcom for another year to get my

get my hands down in the dirt, smell the green things growin'

2009-03-08T23:47:00.000-07:00

Guess what I did today?Besides homework, and reading for my English class, and writing an essay, and doing some research for my formal lab report, and working in the Anatomy Lab?I went to the Home and Garden show in Lynden with Teri and Jonathan, and we oohed and ahhed at some garden stuff. The company was nice, and spending time with Teri and Jonathan was nice, but the entrance price ($7!!) was

Mike says I know I'm already in big girl school because there are ashtrays there...

2009-03-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

Well, I've survived the last few days of tests, although today I woke up with a runny nose and a sore throat, I'm sure thanks in no small part to coughing asshole who decided to share his fucking cold with everyone who walked into the Drop that afternoon. I'm drinking tons of Emergen-C and I'm going to bed early tonight instead of staying up stupid late to study. (Next text isn't until Monday

English can kiss my ass, and so can that guy with the hacking cough

2009-03-03T23:00:00.000-08:00

I used to love English. It used to be my favorite subject. I used to love taking apart a story or poem, dissecting the meaning, and playing with the words.I don't know if getting older has made me less tolerant of useless bullshit or if the scientist in me finally overrode the poet, but I am hating my English class this quarter. It was supposed to be a survey of some world literature, with very

I needed my girls...

2009-03-01T22:26:00.000-08:00

I only have a few minutes to update before I need to get some sleep.I had a lovely quick dash trip to Seattle. Within minutes of arriving, Kat and I were on our way to a charity dinner where we got to get some handmade bowls donated by local artisans and have soup and locally made bread. Except we got there late, and all of the 400 bowls had been taken! We weren't discouraged, because our

It's snowing again

2009-02-26T00:11:00.000-08:00

I think I may be reaching the point in my academic career where I just.don't.care. Maybe it's just this quarter.So, I know I alternately whine about school a lot and then talk about how I love it. Well. both of those things are true for my science courses, and for the courses that at least engage me.I am taking an online literature course this quarter as well. I needed something that wouldn't

Bacon Explosion and The Aftermath

2009-02-22T18:23:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in Anatomy Lab, doing my Sunday night shift. This work study thing really is the easiest money I've ever made, and even with the fact that I'm being paid to study, I still find myself really resenting it. Maybe it's because Sunday is my only REAL day off, no classes, where I alone am the architect of my time. Was I going to be spending this time studying anyway? Yes, most likely.

Geekiness

2009-02-20T00:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's no big secret that I'm a geek. Maybe I'm not the same kind of geek that my beloved husband is or that my also beloved pseudo-brother is, but I am a geek, through and through. After meeting, falling in love with, and marrying John, I thought I had a better handle on all things geeky than I used to. Then, through John, I came to know and then have the fortune to become close to Chase,

I suck

2009-02-17T23:31:00.001-08:00

John just worked all day on the house and errands and things that needed to get done. He was so proud of himself, and he really got a lot accomplished today. He just went in to clean the kitchen and make a dinner out of the leftovers that we have to make food with. Well, he decided on a delicious breakfast themed scramble, and spent close to an hour working on it in the kitchen. He kept bringing

Long overdue

2009-02-16T12:10:00.000-08:00

The quarter is half over and there is so much to say. I feel like I haven't had time for the things I have to do, like homework and studying and budgeting and eating and sleeping, so time for things like blogging has been a luxury I haven't been able to afford. I haven't been in my sewing room to do anything even remotely craft related since Christmas, which really sucks for a multitude of

In the Whatcom library

2009-01-21T18:16:00.000-08:00

I am in the library at Whatcom, finishing up the online work I had due for my class today. It's easier to do it here, since the bookstore never had my book, and I haven't had the $ to order it yet, and it would be ridiculously expensive and time consuming to copy the whole thing.I have been trying to focus on taking a timed test for my online class while at the terminal opposite me, a woman with

Insomnia

2009-01-20T02:02:00.000-08:00

I would say that insomnia, especially the night before a huge test, can suck my balls, if I had balls.Instead, I will say that I hate it and I hope it dies. Insomnia, thou art a bitch.On the plus side, today the hubby and Chase and I took all 3 dogs for a walk through Downtown and out to Boulevard Park. It was beautiful and sunny, even though it was cold, and the walk did wonders for me and Bigby

2009-01-18T01:36:00.001-08:00

I should be asleep. This insomnia is kicking my ass.Tomorrow I start my workstudy job and I get all set up for my anatomy test on Tuesday.Tonight was the annual sushifeed at my work. I am still so very full of sushi. I feel a little sick, and it's been 2 hours since we got home and at least 4 since we left Miyoshi's. I have a ton to say, but there aren't words for it this evening. I'm germinating.

There's a shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather

2009-01-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

I think I'm having one of those days. I seem to be having a lot of them, lately. I actually was thinking about what to write while I was coming up the front walk, but instead all I have now, staring at this screen, is the feeling that I want my own Goddamned computer back, and anger at the TV and how far away it is from me while I am typing this and how much I hate having to use the setup with

How much I love Biology

2009-01-15T00:49:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to update much more regularly in my "big girl blog" so I can move away from the good old Ell Jay. This week at work, Kim and I were talking about how one of the only really "New Age" things she believes in is that some places just happen to create or collect more clutter than others, no matter what you do to try and stop it. Well, I kind of feel like that about my LJ, that it just

SCHOOL!

2009-01-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

So, I've figured out that I'm a science nerd. I think I used to know this, a long time ago, but I am just now remembering it. I have enrolled in both Anatomy/Physiology and Microbiology for this quarter, and I am totally in love with both classes! They are going to be hard, for sure. (I've already spent about 20 hours studying in the first week and I'm not even done with the lab work yet.)

I wrote this the day before Christmas Eve, and just now got the computer to myself...

2008-12-23T17:11:00.001-08:00

So you want to know what a bad blogger I am? No, seriously. I am horrible blogger. Also, I got so insanely busy that I think my immune system packed up and moved to Albequerque. I am in my cold living room, literally covered in dogs (one big dog leaned against each hip and Dexter laying like some kind of cat on the couch back behind me) waiting for my boys to get home and pick me up so we can go

Oaxaca, Day 1

2008-10-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

Well, we finally arrived here in Oaxaca at around 3 yesterday afternoon, which actually turned out to be 2, since they had daylight savings here Sunday.Getting here was a bit of a challenge. The first leg of the flight was no sweat, although we were getting tired and cranky by the time we got to Dallas. Chase tried to sleep in front of the gate we'd be departing at 5 hours later, while Nick and I

dreams and class and things

2008-10-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

A couple of things I wanted to tell you about:I've been having really really intense dreams about 2 little boys, and they're mine. Well, not really, because we all know I don't have rug rats, but in the dreams, they're mine, and they're so real that it's hard to wake up, sometimes. One is 4ish or so, and tall and lanky, with strawberry blond curls and a fearless disposition. In the first dream, I

Getting older is balls.

2008-10-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

I somehow hurt my hip yesterday. I do not know if it was the weather change or how I slept, or a combo of the two, but I got up to go to the bathroom at about 6 and the pain was unbearable. I couldn't walk. I have been awake for 3 hours, in bed, with a heating pad, tylenol with codeine, my computer and my phone. I'm like a little mobile office. I've been emailing about my Etsy shop, contacting

I can't help it. Two years is a big deal for me.

2008-10-04T12:08:00.001-07:00

Ok, I can't resist. As I told you earlier, John and I had our 2 year anniversary on Tuesday. His fabulous mother and step father got us a gift certificate for Bayou on Bay, so that we could go out to dinner. Well, we both started Weight Watchers 2 weeks ago, and we debated whether or not we should go, but we ultimately decided that for one night we could eat fried food and drink and enjoy each

2008-09-30T17:34:00.000-07:00

Today is my 2 year wedding anniversary. I know that I have several friends who have been married for much longer, and I feel kind of silly for being proud of these last 2 years, but really, I just am.The other night, curled in bed with John in a comma shape around my back and surrounded by our pets, I told him that even through all of the hard stuff I am glad that I chose him, I am happy to be in

2008-09-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I forget. I forget how beautiful places in the Northwest like Bellingham actually are, I forget how the apple orchards smell when Indian summer is winding down and fall is starting, or the smell of blackberries when they're overripe and they're covering the back half of my yard. I forget that little hint of woodsmoke and the crisp bite in the bottom of my lungs when I suck in a full

2008-09-10T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well, we're back from our trip. I wanted to post some pics, and I finally got them all uploaded and organized. I renewed my Flickr pro account for the year, and I'm already making good use of it. I have more to upload today, too.I kept thinking of all the things I wanted to say about Victoria, but the reality is that the trip was too good to talk about. I may keep working on it for future

2008-09-07T10:43:00.000-07:00

Well, we're in Victoria for the weekend. We left Friday morning, and let me tell you, I was a bit hungover from birthday festivities. I have had a wonderful run of it for my 30th. My best girls came to visit, and on Wednesday, we went to Port Townsend. Good pizza, good company, lots of laughs. My birthday was Thursday, and I let Kat sleep while I went to work for the first part of my morning

"I can't beleive you actually picked me"

2008-08-31T02:13:00.000-07:00

Picture post is still forthcoming, I promise. I seem to have too much to do and no time to do it in, a common occurance that I'm sure will be more common as the days rush towards Fall and school and holidays.I barely have time to do this now, but I'm gonna because my brain is whirling and I can't sleep. I don't want to let go of this day yet. It was too good.I don't get as personal here as I do

2008-08-20T22:41:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted since.. OMG, April? Can that be right?Well, school was taking up a lot of my time, but I haven't had that excuse over the summer.I ended the school year with a 3.96, not too shabby if I do say so, myself. I'm about to throw myself back into the fray of academia here in about a month, back to my last 2 quarters of community college before I start working on that Midwife thing.

Snow in April and other bizarre occurances

2008-04-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

So, this weekend was full of people and less work than normal, and yes, snow in April. Mid April, no less. How can this be? I keep telling people at work that we'd better gear up to get saved from the weather by Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhall.Mom came up for a visit this weekend, and we had a really lovely time. On Saturday, I awoke to this:not a lot, but enough to make a cold ride to workThis

I've been sick forever

2008-03-07T21:13:00.000-08:00

Maybe not forever, but it really feels like it.School is coming to a close for the quarter, and I couldn't be happier about it. I'm behind in Spanish (tough to go to class when you're sick for 4 freaking weeks), touch and go in Math (not my best subject, especially, again, when I can't make it to class) and I finally kicked my psych class in the ass. The online quarter ends two weeks before

I finished something, finally!

2008-02-06T17:16:00.000-08:00

I'm home sick today. I was sick yesterday, I'm sick today, and if this is any indication, I'll be sick tomorrow as well. At least I'm off work tomorrow and don't have to worry about what it's doing to the shop if I call in.So, with all this time on my hands, I have slept, and slept, and studied, and did homework, and then slept some more. When my brain felt like it was turning to Spanish mush, I

no actual substance

2008-01-24T01:16:00.000-08:00

I am so tired. Really, really tired.I studied another chapter in Psych tonight. I took some pics of the pets.I finally got my Ravelry.com invite. I started setting up my profile but I'm just too tired and my computer is just running too slow.Tomorrow there will be new pics of my knitting (I'm about half done with the second fingerless glove) and of the pets (because heaven knows you always need

Knitting Links For Mom

2008-01-03T00:49:00.000-08:00

Mom,I told you I'd post some of my new favorite links here for you to take a look at.Craftster.org(I want to make one or more of those T-shirts with Hell's Handbasket and Hastapeanut on it!)Punk Knitters LJKnitting LJSweeney Todd Fingerless MittsMagKnitsI especially want to make "Evangeline",that's the one I was talking about for my first cable project!KnittyKnitted Dragon Scarf(Okay, I know this

What I Can Do

2008-01-02T23:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it really feels like "What I Can Do" doesn't amount to a lot.I spend a good deal of time these days randomly hopping blogs. I started blogging almost a decade ago on LiveJournal, and while I have loved my LJ I find myself not really using it to spur me on, anymore. Perhaps I'm ready to stop being afraid of this here computer and start blogging like a big girl. I don't know.I have this

Christmas craftiness revealed...

2007-12-27T23:30:00.000-08:00

I told you I'd have to wait till after Christmas gifts had been given to put up the product of my last few weeks of crafting. Well, these gifts have been given, so up and onward. I am a genius and forgot to take pics of what I made for my sister, the commissioned wallet I sent to Annaliese, the tie wallet I made for LCRP (Lord Captain Richie Poo) and a couple of other things. Here is what I've

Productive streak...

2007-12-21T09:01:00.001-08:00

So, the day before yesterday I went on a bit of a craft making speed trip. I told my beloved husband at the beginning of this week that with all I have left to do, it's not a good week for me to be doing things like, oh, yanno, going out to movies or dinner or spending time away from my craft room. Not only are we broke, but since I took the handmade pledge I really wanted to make most of our

I can haz Knitting!

2007-12-17T00:18:00.000-08:00

I made my first ever knitted item, a lovely hat with my Spincycle yarn. I'm so excited to see Kate and Rachel and show it to them!Here it is. Doesn't look like much, flat. I opted not to do the flower on the side of the pattern, keeping a simple hat for now.John wants it to be his. I told him no.There I am in it, my first thing for me in over a yearOh yeah, and we dyed my hair this weekend, too.

Kat says she only has two hands....

2007-12-13T01:34:00.000-08:00

I just spent my whole evening looking at how to's about making silver jewelry. Like, making pendants and rings and bracelets from recycled silver. I started an amazon.com wishlist for the books and the rawhide hammer and the jewelry anvil.I also want a dremel or other rotary cutting tool.I am dreaming of making jewelry now, too. Because I needed a new craft obsession.I think I figured out what is

Las cosas de Espanol...

2007-12-10T22:18:00.000-08:00

My second to last Spanish class of the quarter was cancelled due to Whatcom CC losing all the power. WTF? No storm, no bad weather, no visible reason for this to occur.Instead, my friend Teri's husband made mucho comida bueno for us (para nosotros) and we spoke in Spanish (hablamos en Espanol) while we drank (tomamos mucho) and made jokes (hicimos las chistes).I don't even know if all of that is

Yarn and dreaming of making something for me...

2007-12-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

I want to learn how to knit effectively. I tried before, and even with the help of my lovely and talented knitting teacher, Kate of Spin Cycle fame, I wasn't able to make much headway on the baby blanket I picked for my friend Annaliese's new little boy.So, I'm going to try a scarf and hat. I have some wonderful yarn (again, from Spin Cycle) that I will be using for the hat, and I may treat

Buy handmade...

2007-12-07T22:31:00.000-08:00

I found the link for the post this time...I did this last year too, but couldn't find the link to the badge.Check out Etsy.com, really, it's fascinating.I have a wishlist there.John.. Hint... Hint... I like shiny things with sparrows and silver spoons....if you're looking for a good shiny present for your wife that we can afford....